The Carter Family

Happy Birthday To Me!

2012-01-23T08:59:00.000-08:00

Friday was my birthday and I have to say I wasn't looking forward to it especially. Cam was in Texas on business and he had been for about a week. I was hating the weather, tired of the season, feeling a little MS like and my kids were driving me up the wall. However my friends and family pulled together an awesome day for me and it was a total surprise. It started with my dad going to work late so he could watch the kids and I could sleep in (heavenly). Then I went to Taco Amigo (a high school favorite) for lunch with my mom and sisters. That evening I left to dinner with my friends at my current favorite restaurant: Carraba's. After dinner my friends handed me my jammies and surprised me with a kidnapping to a hotel. When I walked in I was so touched that I started to cry. They had decorated the room, bought my favorite treats, and even got my favorite Sweet Tooth Fairy cupcakes complete with candles. We swam in the pool where we met some nice drunk girls and stayed up til 3:45 talking. It was a wonderful break. The next day I went to lunch with my family. I am loved and it was wonderful.

I miss you baby...

2012-01-16T07:56:00.001-08:00

Old Car

New Car

When I met Cam I didn't give a flying flip about cars but somehow through the years he has rubbed off on me. About 3 years ago Cam bought me a black BMW wagon and rebuilt it himself because he's crazy talented like that. Although Cam averages less than a year for car ownership he let me keep it for 3 because I loved her so much! However over Thanksgiving he told me that it was over. She had too many repairs that would be due soon and it was time for a new car. I told him I was open to anything and just to make it hurt I told him I might even get an American car or a mini van (there is nothing wrong with either of these it's just Cam's personal taste). However, I couldn't do it. I test drove tons of cars, every make and model imaginable. In the end I chose a Mercedes wagon. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, if the tree is your husband. When I got in it it felt like coming home. She drives like a stick of butter and she's so clean inside you could eat off the gray perforated leather seats. However, I think she's pretty ugly on the outside. But I will sacrifice aesthetics for luxury on the inside. Today it snowed and she drove so well!!! Every other car was sliding and slipping and driving 5 miles an hour but I couldn't even tell a difference.

I'm a comparer

2012-01-10T14:39:00.000-08:00

I compare everything I can't just let things lie. It's not in a judgemental way at all it's more like an analysis it's not about clothes, or houses, it's about weird things like routes to the grocery store. I have been doing a lot of comparing about pain lately and here's what I've decided.

On a scale of 1-10:

magnesium sulfate: 7

labor: 5

birth: 2

postbirth: 4

solumedral infusion: 5

spinal tap: 8

blood patch: 9

Dec. 09 migraine where they thought I was having a brain aneurism: 9.8

tonsillectomy: 0

tonsillectomy recovery: 8

I am sure these things are different for all people.

Day 11

2012-01-07T20:17:00.000-08:00

First day that I kind of feel normal.

I wore jeans today. Brand new ones I got for Christmas. They fit like fat pants now, nice and baggy and comfy.

I put jewelry on, just my wedding ring but still...

I ate a piece of pizza. Solid food, wow! It was hard to eat and burned a little but it tasted so good.

I did my hair OK maybe it was just a ponytail but still it's progress

I put a little make up on

I left the house for the very first time since the surgery.

I have been going over in my head why this has been so hard. I think it's because the pain just lasts for so long. Each day for a good 9 days got worse. It's a long time to get worse, I'm used to pain tapering down. Also being so out of it that I was pretty much bedridden was hard. The kind of fatigue I got (lassitude it's an MS thing brought on by the surgery) made me so tired i actually fell asleep in the shower, several times in the bath, twice on the toilet, once after I had taken a drink but before I had swallowed it. That's crazy tired! I have never been that bad before. Couldn't have done it without my mom and Cam!!

day 10

2012-01-06T15:50:00.001-08:00

Well things have gotten way better in some ways. My pain is down, my weight loss is 11 lbs, and I am somewhat functioning. The bad news is after eating only a couple Tbsp of food a day and averaging 12 percocet a day I had a whole new problem. I won't go into details but if you've birthed a baby you know exactly what I'm talking about. My mom left today and I am sorry to see her go. She saved my life this week. Thanks for the prayers and well wishers. It's almost over.

Day 7

2012-01-03T17:31:00.000-08:00

You might think at this point that the pain is starting to wind down and I am starting to feel more like myself. Not so. The pain today was the worst yet. Everyday it seems to get a little bit worse. The inside of my mouth is a cavern of raw flesh, white puss, and gnarly scabbing. The scabs have started to fall off and that hurts immensely. It exposes new raw flesh and anything touching it, food, liquid, air hurts like crazy. I am taking an immense amount of pain killers and I know that I need them because they make you high if you're not in raging pain but that has yet to happen. This may sound like a giant complaint but surprisingly I am not really ornery about it. I knew it would take a while and I am just sitting here letting it take its course. I know that eventually this will be over but until then I am enjoying the fact that I am 8 lbs lighter.

Day 4

2011-12-31T12:11:00.001-08:00

Well each day has gotten harder physically but easier mentally. I am prepared for the pain now and I know that the drugs will work I just have to be patient and take them on time. I am excited to get my life back. I am also starving! Water and popsicles are pretty much all I'm eating and yet somehow I have gained weight? What?! I thought the weight loss was going to be my one silver lining.

tonsils...gone

2011-12-28T21:27:00.001-08:00

today I had surgery to take out my tonsils and androids. Man I was nervous. I couldn't sleep last night and everyone has been filling me with horror stories. When I woke up in the recovery room I was in bad shape! In tons of pain and couldn't figure out what was going on. They saved my tonsils for me so I could see them but warned me that I couldn't keep them. Who would want to keep them?? They were huge and soaked in blood and puss. Apparently they were very infected. So far the recovery hasn't been too bad as long as I stay up on my drugs and lay down. Every time I get up my body tries to vomit. This is bad because it would hurt but also take out my meds and liquid which are precious at this time. My tonsils were almost touching and it's amazing how much better I can breathe now. I have heard two schools of thoughts on recovering from tonsil one is that it's really bad for a few days and then doable the other is that the first 5 days aren't too bad and then the scabs come off and they hurt like crazy! I am hoping that i have in the first group of people. I will be down for 2-3 weeks but my mom is going to stay with me next week and I am excited about that.

Hallelujah

2011-12-15T09:41:00.001-08:00

No this isn't about Christmas. My thesis is finally 100% done!!! Yay. It only took 3 years.

Cooking for Kids is Hard!

2011-11-17T17:43:00.000-08:00

I am in the kitchen making dinner and Stella walks in:

Stella: Mama what are you making for dinner?

Me: Yummy food.

Stella: Oh...That sounds yucky!

Kids will be kids

2011-10-26T20:50:00.000-07:00

I recently went on a field trip with the kids preschool to the bakery. After touring the bakery and learning about cupcakes the kids were offered a any treat they wanted. There was donuts, cheesecake, cream puffs, gourmet cupcakes, brownies, bars, pretty much anything you've ever heard of. All the kids but one picked a sucker at the register. I should just give up!

tis sad but true

2011-10-25T19:06:00.000-07:00

Tonight are family was "booed" A.K.A. doorbell ditched with cupcakes. They were the best chocolate cupcakes I have ever had. Delicious! Unfortunately I have no idea who to ask for the recipe.

Personality Test

2011-10-17T12:53:00.000-07:00

I took this test from my friend Amy's blog who took it from her friends blog. It was interesting. Here are my results:

Poised

You tend to feel at home wherever you find yourself, even in unfamiliar settings, with new people. It takes a lot to rattle you, and when rattled you recover quickly and gracefully.

You are usually not self-conscious or nervous when you're in an unfamiliar environment or with people you don't know.

Aesthetic

You appreciate art, beauty, and design; you know that they are not superficial but absolutely crucial to living the good life. You have good taste, and you're proud of it. Those with a high score on the "aesthetic" trait are often employed in literary or artistic professions, enjoy domestic activities — doing things around the house — and are enthusiastic about the arts, reading, and travel.

You don't think it's pretentious to be moved by art and beauty. You're not one of those who believe it doesn't matter what something looks like as long as it does its job.

Competent

You strive to master everything you undertake. You tend to learn quickly and do not shy away from challenges.

You are not a "que sera sera" type of person, nor do you go easy on yourself when attempting to master a new skill or get a job done.

Astute

You are a quick study. You generally don't need to have things explained to you more than once. When presented with a problem, you will often have an instant understanding of where to look for the solution.

You do not take your sweet time when presented with a new task to complete or problem to solve. You don't avoid assignments that require you to learn new skills.

Friendly

You would rather hang out with others than spend time alone, and you'd far rather be doing something with your friends than just sitting around. You're happy in a crowded room, club, stadium, or auditorium.

You're not a private person who is ill at ease in a group; you don't view excessive socializing as a waste of time.

Assertive

You behave in a confident and forceful manner, take charge of the situation, raise your hand in class, stand up for what you think is right, and lead others. Among those who have a high score on the "assertive" trait, many have jobs in which they are valued for their organizational skills as well as their talent for supervising others.

You are not interested in fading into the woodwork, leaving everything to fate, taking more time than necessary to accomplish a task, or avoiding confrontation.

Calm

You rarely become irritated, generally accept people as they are, take things as they come, and feel relaxed in most situations.

You do not let a minor annoyance escalate to a confrontation. You don't regularly snap at those around you or fly off the handle with little provocation.

Innovative

You come up with a lot of ideas; if one doesn't work out, there's always another waiting in the wings. You often have interesting solutions to difficult problems. You're practically a one-person brainstorming session.

Service

2011-10-11T10:45:00.000-07:00

Last night for fhe (family home evening) we had a lesson on service. I explained to Stella and Luca that service is when you give of your time or your material things to help another in need. For an object lesson I gave everyone a fruit snack and asked them to give service to someone else by giving them their fruit snack. I wasn't really sure how much they got but they seemed to enjoy it.

This morning in the bathtub Stella told me that for Halloween she's going to ring the doorbell and say "service" instead of "trick or treat" so they'll share their candy with her. I thought it was pretty funny. I was hoping it would be more about giving service then receiving it but at least she remembered the lesson.

The New House

2011-09-29T09:58:00.000-07:00

Bathroom drawer pulls

Kitchen drawer pulls (about 1 foot across)

Kitchen cabinet knobs

Well we moved about a month ago and I'm finally talking about the new house. The move kind of ended us in a nightmare situation. I don't want to go into details but things are finally settling down and I'm enjoying the house. It is perfect for our family.

Upstairs there is a big open loft space that's the twins toy room and then off of that there is a 2 bedrooms and bathroom so it's their little lair. They love hanging out up there because they can still hear me and it's nice and bright. I love it because the toys stay upstairs and there's nothing for them to get into.

The main level has the kitchen, family room, dining area, laundry room, guest bathroom, craft room and Master. I have absolutely loved having my Master on the main. I find that I hang out a lot more in my bedroom and everything is super convenient. Also the laundry is getting done more often because I don't have to go in the basement to do the laundry. There is also a huge unfinished basement that I almost never go in but there's room to grow!

There is a front and back porch and we put up a porch swing (it fell down but it will go back up). The neighbors have been awesome and we're looking forward to staying for a while.

The bones of the house are awesome but the design is bland. The whole thing is just plain beige and the light fixtures are terrible so we're slowly going through the house and fixing it up. So far we've painted the bathroom mint green (I promise it's one of the new 'IT' colors) and we put drawer pulls on the cabinets (see above). It needs an island bar and many other things.

I guess I'm a guy!

2011-09-12T09:36:00.000-07:00

One thing Cam has always said he loves about me is that I'm like a guy. I hate drama and I don't play games. I say things like they are and never give the silent treatment. So on Saturday I guess I sealed the deal. I forgot our anniversary! Oops! I wouldn't have even remembered at all if my mom hadn't called to wish us a Happy Anniversary. It made us both laugh but we snagged a babysitter last minute and went to the Cheesecake factory. I may forget the anniversary but I could never forget Cam. Oh how I love that man!!!! He is the greatest blessing I have ever received. I think we have the "perfect" marriage. It's just flawed enough to be perfect. It doesn't hurt that he's handsome either.

Trials

2011-09-03T19:56:00.000-07:00

As I was about to post this message my email came up and someone sent me this quote:

Much of our suffering is not necessarily our fault. Unexpected events, contradicting or disappointing circumstances, interrupting illness, and even death surround us and penetrate our mortal experience. Additionally, we may suffer afflictions because of the actions of others.³ Lehi noted that Jacob had “suffered … much sorrow, because of the rudeness of [his] brethren.”⁴ Opposition is part of Heavenly Father’s plan of happiness. We all encounter enough to bring us to an awareness of our Father’s love and of our need for the Savior’s help.

It made me feel much better. Sometimes life is just so hard I feel like it will swallow me whole. If you are reading this message, pray for me. I need it right now and if you need it right now I'll pray for you too.

The Joy of Being a Designer

2011-08-17T08:36:00.000-07:00

Being that we are both designers we have a ton of friends that are photographers. We have never paid for a photo of our kids...ever! So recently they needed some kids at work to shoot for a demo on fashion photography. Here are some of my free photos. These would have costs thousands if I had paid for them. Yay for friends!

We're Moving!

2011-08-08T07:35:00.001-07:00

Meet our new house! (sorry we don't have any pics and the vids won't load)

You may notice that Cam zooms in on all the damage. So anyway I need a house with less stairs (Our laundry room is in the basement and the bedrooms are upstairs) and I just really have felt like we were suppose to move for the last year or so. After putting offers in on 2 houses in March and then getting both houses in July we finally settled on one and are moving in a few weeks. We're excited about it.

I am sad about changing wards and neighborhoods but also excited about trying something new. Change is inevitable and good but always makes me a little sad. I moved in while I was pregnant with the twins and all of their firsts have been here. I really love the friends I've made here and I'm hoping the friendships will continue because it's only a few streets over. Wish me luck!

Check this out!

2011-08-03T10:07:00.001-07:00

Last week we went camping and I learned a new trick about mosquito bites. If you draw a circle around the bite with a sharpie it will stop the swelling and quiet the itch. I was skeptical at first but after trying it on several bites I am a believer. Jeff (my little brother) learned about it in science class and my brother in law Dan (a physical therapist) backed it up. Apparently it's something in the alcohol and hand sanitizer or other markers work as well. We kept Sharpies in the cup holders of our camping chairs and everyone was covered in black circles by the end of camp. Give it a try! Next time I'll bring my skin colored sharpie.

I don't like...

2011-07-22T09:08:00.000-07:00

So years ago I was blog tagged and one of the questions was: What is something you don't like that everyone else seems to love? For some reason I think about this question all the time. I keep noticing things I don't like that make me weird. Here are a few:

The smell of rain. People it just smells like breathing dirt, yuck!

Wheat bread. It does not taste good. I buy it, I eat it, I know it's the healthier option so I do it but really white bread tastes better!

Rhinestones on clothing especially ones on the butt pockets of jeans. I don't need any extra attention there, thank you very much.

Tai Pan Trading. Don't even get me started...

Reusing the 'Got Milk?' campaign for every business imaginable. My favorite being an Asian restaurant in Logan it said: Got Tiny Spicy Chicken?...We Do!

If you like any of these things you should congratulate yourself on being in the "in" crowd. I know I'm out of the loop! At the shoe store the other day I actually took a pair to the register and asked what you wear them with.

I may or may not...

2011-07-09T17:49:00.001-07:00

New Year's Eve @ Megan's house

Chelsea's wedding (Kelli's behind the camera)

Chelsea trying her glasses on Stella

Me, Megan & Stella

Me & Julie @ Chelsea's wedding

Adam & Julie at Megan's New Year's Party

Julie, Me & Megan at my design review

I may or may not and by that I mean may have the best friends in the whole world. I have great friends here in Daybreak but I also grew up with great friends. Julie Schwartz became my best friend in ninth grade and I like to think we still are. We roomed together in college, got our first kiss on the same night, and married a set of best friends. We've been through all the highs and lows together and I couldn't have done it without her. Along with her I had Kelli and Megan and together we called ourselves the 3 musketeers and D'artanan (the best friend of the three musketeers). We never determined which one of us was D'artanan but we had a great time growing up. Later in college our friend Chelsea returned to us and we had a great time. We all went to different schools (except me and Julie) but we met up during summers and Christmas breaks. Later on after school Cam and I moved to Daybreak and Chelsea moved nearby. Because she's a school teacher she had the summer off and we played together all the time. We even cooked freezer meals together. We still have Old School Girls Sleepovers together. Next week Julie moves to Rhode Island where her husband will be attending baking and pastry school. I am excited for her new adventure but I will miss her dearly. This week her and Megan came up last minute and we went to dinner, we laughed enough to burn calories. There is nothing like a good set of friends that knows everything about you and no matter how much time passes they always feel the same. I love you girls!

*Kelli I have no digital photos of you! Sorry.

curry + kids

2011-07-07T07:29:00.000-07:00

CURRY

I made these for dinner last night and they were really good! Cam and I both agreed that they needed some kind of dipping sauce so next time I'm going to make a honey mustard dip. Because they're baked they are not a bad health choice and were delicious chopped in a salad. I made 15 good size tenders and still had tons of egg and crumb mixture so I'd consider cutting the recipe in half or doubling the chicken. I baked them for 20 min. turned them and then did 5 more minutes for a good sear on both sides.

Crispy Coconut Chicken Fingers
Recipe by Our Best Bites

12 chicken tenders (ya know, more or less…)
1-2 eggs (start with one and crack another if it runs out)
1/2 C flour
1 C sweetened coconut flakes
1 C panko bread crumbs
1 1/2 tsp garlic powder
3/4 tsp table salt
3/4 tsp curry powder
1/4 tsp onion powder
1/8 tsp cayenne pepper (you can leave this out if you want to skip the spice for the kiddos)

preheat oven to 450 degrees.

Give coconut a rough chop so it’s about the same size as the panko pieces

Combine it with Panko and spices in a shallow dish. Mix well to distribute all of the spices.

Place the flour in another shallow dish, and the egg in another. Give the egg a quick beating.

Working with one chicken tender at a time, dredge in flour…then dip in egg

And then finally coat in the coconut Panko mixture. Press in with your fingers to make sure the entire thing is well coated.

Place chicken tenders on a foil-lined baking sheet (for easy clean up!) that has been sprayed with non-stick cooking spray. I give mine a teeny drizzle of olive oil on top to help them crisp nicely, but it’s optional.

Bake in your 450 degree oven for about 20 minutes or until juices run clear. Try not to overcook them because chicken tenders go from perfect to overcooked really fast! If your tenders are on the small side, they could even be done in about 15 minutes so keep an eye on them. If they’re big they can take more like 25. The coconut will be nice and golden and the panko crisp, but light in color still.

KIDS

Yesterday Stella was whining for what felt like eternity and it was driving me nuts so I started imitating her back and she said, "mama I don't like this song" as if I was trying to serenade her. I thought, "Stella, I don't like this song either so stop singing it!" The things the kids say right now have been pretty darn funny.

Dear Purple Passion,

2011-07-05T06:33:00.001-07:00

I am deeply sorry that I have neglected you this summer. I am sorry that I have used MS and the weather as an excuse to leave you in the garage gathering dust while you're fellow bikes put in the miles. I am sorry that my pathetic ride this morning only took you 10 miles but I appreciate your willingness to do it anyway. Thanks for not holding it against me and thanks for riding like you were in the Tour de France this morning. I love you dearly and promise to get in at least a 30 mile ride before the end of the season.

Yours Truly,

pathetic excuse for a cyclist

Cupcakes!!

2011-07-01T08:42:00.000-07:00

I followed the recipe exactly how it was written with the only change being that I did 1/2 almond extract and 1/2 pure vanilla extract. The cupcakes were really flat but apparently that's how they were suppose to be. I made a half batch which made 17 cupcakes and the frosting (also a half batch) was exactly the right amount with no leftovers.

This is a great tip for frosting cupcakes fast and beautifully. You put a quart size ziploc in a glass and peel the edges back then fill the glass with frosting. After sealing the bag you cut off the corner tip and just swirl it onto the cupcake. When I was done I chucked the bag for quick clean up. It was much faster than frosting with a knife and I think it was prettier.

Final Review: The cupcake was absolutely delicious. Very similar to the real deal. It was moist spongy and rich with great flavor.

The frosting was disappointing. Although it was good it tasted like the same buttercream frosting you've had a million times. I will be trying a new frosting but keeping the cupcake recipe.

Billy's Vanilla, Vanilla Cupcakes

Makes about 30 cupcakes
1 3/4 cups cake flour, not self-rising
1 1/4 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
2 cups sugar
1 tablespoon baking powder
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, cut into 1-inch cubes
4 large eggs
1 cup whole milk
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1. Preheat oven to 325°. Line cupcake pans with paper liners; set aside. In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, combine flours, sugar, baking powder, and salt; mix on low speed until combined. Add butter, mixing until just coated with flour.

2. In a large glass measuring cup, whisk together eggs, milk, and vanilla. With mixer on medium speed, add wet ingredients in 3 parts, scraping down sides of bowl before each addition; beat until ingredients are incorporated but do not overbeat.

3. Divide batter evenly among liners, filling about two-thirds full. Bake, rotating pan halfway through, until a cake tester inserted in the center comes out clean, 17 to 20 minutes.

4. Transfer to a wire rack to cool completely. Repeat process with remaining batter. Once cupcakes have cooled, use a small offset spatula to frost tops of each cupcake. Decorate with sprinkles, if desired. Serve at room temperature.

Billy's Vanilla Buttercream

Colored sprinkles, for decorating (optional)
Makes enough for 30 cupcakes

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
6 to 8 cups confectioners' sugar
1/2 cup milk
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1. In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream butter until smooth and creamy, 2 to 3 minutes. With mixer on low speed, add 6 cups sugar, milk, and vanilla; mix until light and fluffy. If necessary, gradually add remaining 2 cups sugar to reach desired consistency.

Cupcakes & Lanterns

2011-06-30T09:57:00.001-07:00

I have been pretty uninterested in the whole cupcake movement. Then my life was changed when my friend Lisa Newman brought me some cupcakes from The Sweet Tooth Fairy in Sandy when I got Influenza A (or B? I can't remember). Anyway I am not kidding it was the best baked good I have ever had. I swear they bake crack right into the cupcakes, you are instantly addicted. The above pic is some of their cupcakes. I think I have had almost every single one but the white one with the cherry is by far my favorite. I have been researching recipes on how to imitate this cupcake being that I am a Betty Crocker cake mix (or whatever's on sell) girl. My newest nephew Max is going to be blessed on Sunday so I'm going to give these a whirl. I'll report back later.

This year my mom got called to be the girl's camp leader in her ward. She asked me to come up with a camp craft project so I decided to do lanterns. After some research I found that lanterns like the one above are actually just glass forms with mosaics glued on them then grouted. So yesterday I headed up Provo canyon to the same place I attended girls camp, Aspen Lakes, and taught the girls how to make them. I have no pics yet so I'll have to show you some later but it was really fun. We ended up using the flat glass marbles you can buy pretty much anywhere and bought the forms at the dollar store so it was cheap and easy. We then strung a wire over the top so it could be hung in a tree. I can't wait to make some for my own yard.

Good Things

2011-06-28T10:45:00.000-07:00

New medicine is working awesome and has led me to feel alive again. The effect: I am doing projects and things again.

I have been fed up lately with food. I know it sounds weird but I feel like I'm sick of my recipes and the really good stuff always requires rare and expensive ingredients. So, I have a solution. I am starting to try to make new things from scratch and stop buying any of the extra stuff like chips, or cookies. So I am using Our Best Bites which is a website and a cookbook with fabulous recipes. This will hopefully increase the good food, decrease the bad food, and not cost any extra dollars.

I started with this delicious Italian Dressing. It was wonderful and used ingredients I already had in the fridge. Adding the oil in the slow steady stream "emulsifies" it which makes it so it doesn't separate. It really did work. I used Stella parmesan from the deli at Walmart for 50 cents more than the Walmart stuff in the cheese section and it made a big difference. I poured the dressing on a salad of romaine, spinach, bacon bits, croutons, cucumbers, tomatoes and freshly shaved parmesan.

Homemade Italian Dressing

c. canola oil
c. white vinegar
c. lemon juice
tsp. sugar
tsp. dry mustard
tsp. salt
tsp. seasoning salt
tsp. Italian seasoning (add more if needed)
tsp. red pepper flakes
tsp. black pepper
cloves garlic
c. Parmesan cheese (either fresh or from a can)

In a blender, combine vinegar, lemon juice, sugar, mustard, salt, seasoning salt, black pepper, garlic, and red pepper flakes. Blend. While blender is running, slowly add oil in a steady stream. Turn off blender and add Italian seasoning and Parmesan cheese. Pulse blender 2-3 times and that’s it! Stays good for 2 weeks in the fridge and works great as a marinade.

To accompany it I made homemade pita chips. I bought a sack of pitas out of the clearance bin in the bakery for $1.50. Old pita bread actually makes better chips. I cut them into triangle and layered them on a cookie sheet. I brushed them with oil and sprinkled dried, basil, garlic powder, and kosher salt on them then baked them for 15 min. @350. Then I flipped them over sprinkled them with fresh parmesan shavings and baked for another 5 min. They were so good! Cam ate tons of them! We dipped them in a cilantro lime dip and served with the salad.

No Sympathy needed

2011-06-10T07:53:00.000-07:00

If you're like my mom reading or hearing bad news from me prompts a sense of panic and a need to fix things for me. Please do not stress my posts are not cries for help or in an effort to prompt sympathy. I am just talking about my life and being real. The new medicine seems to be working well and other than believing there's a monster in the house (believing things that aren't true) I haven't noticed any side effects. It's only day 2 but I am hopeful and relieved that at least there is medicine to take. Love you all and thanks for thinking of me.

2011-06-06T21:38:00.001-07:00

nervousness
difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep
dizziness
nausea
vomiting
loss of appetite
stomach pain
diarrhea
heartburn
dry mouth
headache
muscle tightness
uncontrollable movement of a part of the body
restlessness
numbness, burning, or tingling in the hands or feet
decreased sexual desire
painful menstruation

fast, pounding, or irregular heartbeat
chest pain
shortness of breath
excessive tiredness
slow or difficult speech
fainting
weakness or numbness of an arm or leg
seizures
changes in vision or blurred vision
agitation
believing things that are not true
feeling unusually suspicious of others
hallucinating (seeing things or hearing voices that do not exist)
motor tics or verbal tics
depression
abnormally excited mood
mood changes
fever
hives
rash
blistering or peeling skin
itching
difficulty breathing or swallowing

These are just the side effects of a new drug I'm starting this week. Sounds good huh?

Good News for spider haters

2011-06-04T20:01:00.000-07:00

This afternoon while sitting at the neighbors we saw a hobo spider. This sparked a conversation about spider bites (a student of mine was bitten a year ago and had a paralyzed leg for 3 months). When I got home I did some research on spiders because I'm weird like that. So I found this page written by a spider doctor about common myths. It made me feel better. Here they are:

To this day no one has ever actually recorded or documented a spider being swallowed. The myth about swallowing a spider a year is a complete myth.

The myth about always being within 6 feet of a spider is also a myth. If you're standing on grass you're standing on several for sure but if you're in a parking lot you average 30-40 meters from one.

Spiders almost never bite! The average person will be bitten by a spider 1-2 times in their entire life!

Spiders are not attracted to heat, moist mouths, and they don't suck human blood, ever! A spider will crawl onto your bed 1-2 times a year and has a greater chance of dying from you rolling on it then biting you.

House spiders are just that, house spiders. They live their entire lives in your house. Outdoor spiders can't live in your house and indoor spiders can't live outside so if you have a weird friend that takes them "back outside" when found in the house it will die for sure.

Spiders cannot come out of a drain or a toilet ever! They crawl into the bathtub to look for water then can't get back out that's why you always see them in the tub.

There is no "spider season" Spiders are year round creatures that have natural anti freeze in their bodies and go dormant in the cold. If you see more spiders than average it's because they're out and about looking for mates not because of the time of the year.

Pesticides don't kill spiders. They kill spiders natural enemies, increasing spider rates. If you want to reduce spiders set traps. Egg sacks are also immune to pesticides. (However I will keep spraying for them because it seems to work at my house)

So I found this info relieving. I hate spiders but I am a little less creeped out although seeing all the photos that were attached to the info makes me feel itchy.

The battle with myself

2011-05-18T21:38:00.000-07:00

I have often heard in my life people saying that when tragedy hits they think, "Why me?" then they have one of those epiphany's where they think, "Why not me?".

Well, I am not one of those people.

I have never felt shock or unfairness at having MS. When people talk about how hard my life is or how unfair it is I have never agreed. I think life is kind of like a mixed bag and we all just grab one. When every thing is said and done we all deal with plenty of crap and have plenty of blessings. Secretly I feel bad for those with seemingly easy lives because I know a death or divorce or some other terrible thing is lying in wait. I know that sounds terrible but it's true.

However, all that aside I am angry. I am angry at losing control over my life. I am angry that each day I wake up with a big fat question mark over my head. I never know what kind of a day it is going to be and lately they have sucked. I am angry that I no longer get to plan out my day or know that if I get enough sleep I'll be awake and ready in the morning. I am angry that my constant fatigue and pain make me irritable with Cam and rob me of being a good mother to my children.

I am in a constant battle with myself over what I want to share with other people. I am frustrated that people don't get it and that not an hour has gone by since I was diagnosed that I have forgotten that I have MS. Yet I hate playing the MS card and the more I bring it up and talk about it the more power I feed it and the more people think about it when they're around me. I don't want my life to revolve around MS but right now it won't get out of my way.

Spring Fever

2011-03-18T20:37:00.000-07:00

I've got it! I am getting so excited about the warm weather. The kids are old enough to not eat the bark when we go outside. Play with bikes and I bought them a dragon pool that spits water with a slide for their birthday. We are currently choosing patio furniture as well. Tonight I bought these awesome solar paneled lanterns at Target. The pic is the right shape but mine are lime green and a different pattern. I love outdoor lighting but never wanted to mess with cords, turning them on, using power etc. so I think these are like the raddest creation ever!

Question...

2011-03-17T10:36:00.000-07:00

Question: What can happen in the time it take to put the laundry in the washer in to the dryer?

Answer: Your son can climb up onto the kitchen counter and color in a very expensive art book you borrowed from work with a black sharpie.

how you know time-out isn't working

2011-03-16T10:52:00.000-07:00

You're kids new favorite game is called 'nose in the corner' which means they take turns yelling nose is the corner and pointing to the nearest corner. Then they take turns sitting on time-out and laughing out of control.

Getting A+D out of...

2011-03-02T12:44:00.000-08:00

Carpet: Sprinkle areas generously with making powder. Let sit for several minutes before vacuuming. Do this several more times, may take several jars. Now clean spots with a tooth brush and dish soap. Carpet will never be the same

Hair: Run paper towels over head to get out as much as possible. Lay child on kitchen counter and spray head with hot water (child may need bribe or restraint to stay there) Wash four times with dish soap. Give up for the day and rock a mohawk. Next day try baking powder, hey it worked on the carpet.

Clothes: Stare at stained clothes and wonder what to do. Decide it's not worth trying and dispose of them in garbage.

twin conversation

2011-02-25T23:20:00.000-08:00

The twins are starting to talk to each other and they are cracking us up. Tonight they had an argument about whether or not Stella liked Juice. It went something like this;

s: I want juice

l: I like juice

s: I don't like juice guca

l: you want juice stella?

s: I don't like juice (screaming)

k: luca want some juice?

s: I want juice

It is funny to hear them arguing. They are also starting to take ownership of their names.

k: Come on silly

s: I'm not silly, I Stella

c: Hey Lukey?

l: not lukey, guca!

This week I took them to the zoo and on the way I asked them what they wanted to see, They responded:

ella-cents

guhraffes

dinosaurs

bees

Well we saw two of the animals.

Good News

2011-02-21T16:46:00.001-08:00

If you know me on a first name basis you probably know that I refer to my Masters degree as 'Thesis Hell' in fact Stella calls it that too. I know I'm a bad mother but that's a whole other topic.

So Wed. I went to Logan for a presentation and for once it was good news. Not in the "you're perfect stop right there lets graduate you..." way but in the "here are some doable changes to make and you don't have to throw away what you already did" way. So I am happier. Only a few more months to go.

yay for blood infusions!

2011-02-03T22:30:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had my beloved blood infusion. The center was uncharacteristically slow and I enjoyed my breaks from the twinners. I am already feeling much much better but in a way it's kind of depressing to realize that I'm so dependent on drugs. Sometimes I start to think that "I'm not that sick" but then something always reminds me that I do in fact have MS.

I am back at it with the thesis and I can use all the encouragement I can get. I have to finish by May mostly because I cannot stand to do this for another semester. Working with my committee has been frustrating to say the least but things are finally starting to happen and I feel well enough to put in the hours. If only the twins would allow it!

Hope that you are all doing well. Thanks for all the sweet replies. I am blessed to have great friends and family.

Life in all its Glory

2011-01-31T20:06:00.000-08:00

I won't lie I hate the month of January. My birthday is in this month and I have always hated it. My mom's is too but she actually enjoys it. It is cold, dark and filled with sickness. It is too far from fall to be excited about snow and too far from March to be excited about spring. This month and proved to be a total downer.

The twins have been at it again and I have to say they are on my last nerve. Today when I walked out of Walmart there was a man there trying to pawn off his chihuahua and it actually got me thinking. No I wouldn't actually sell them but they are winning the crazy award. Stella stuck an apple jack up her nose and we had to go to the doctor to get it out. Luca tried to change his own poopy diaper during his "nap" and the babies figured out how to open their closet and literally stripped the whole thing bare. I now have a giant pile of clothing to sort through.

I can't wait for some warmer weather so I can throw then outside with a Popsicle.

I have been fighting a cold recently and although that doesn't seem like a big deal it kind of is for me. I need blood infusions ever 28 days and I can only get them if I'm completely healthy. Well it is now 10 days past due and I am still not better. My body is dragging and all I want to do is sleep. Here's to hoping that Wednesday will be better because that's my next scheduled date.

I know that this was a very pessimistic blog post but I can't find my journal so you have to hear about it instead.

Lots of good news, Lots of bad news

2011-01-23T20:16:00.000-08:00

I have not written in a long time and that is because of everything going on. I'll start with the bad news to get it out of the way:

I got influenza A right after Christmas. Didn't even know what this was but the internet came to my rescue. It is a sickness that kills 1/200 people. Swine flu was a form of influenza A as was the Spanish epidemic. It killed 40% of the population during WW1. Anyway so it was crazy painful and scary. They had be taking 2 percocet and loratab drops every 4 hours. Two days later both babies got it then Cam got strep the day after that. It lasted for like 10 days. It was awful!!!

Next piece of bad news happened last week. I put the babies in the toy room while I got ready for work. Then I went down to get them. When I opened the door there was poop everywhere!!! Stella had pooped on the floor and then Luca had driven a giant fire truck through it and then onto everything. It was everywhere including the sofa, cushions, blankets, toys, carpet, tv, nintendo paddles, and walls. It literally took me 3 hours to clean. Luckily my mother-in-law gave me a little green machine made by Bissell that worked amazingly well to get it out of the carpet and upholstery.

Enough bad news here's some good. I found my wedding band!!! I am so happy. I thought it was gone forever. I found it stored on the side of the sofa. You know, when you take the cushions off and reach down the side almost to the floor? I found it with 6 matchbox cars. Which confirms my suspicion that Luca was the one that took it. Luca and I leapt for joy. Unfortunately Luca's joy was for his 6 lost cars.

Next bit of good news: I'm doing my room. For my birthday Cam's mom got me a feather duvet, my mom gave me money for a new quilt and Cam got me paint and window treatments. We are currently in the process of making a headboard to hook onto our bed. I will post photos on that later.

Our bedroom has experienced quite a transformation already. When we got married we inherited a worn out king size mattress and box springs. I mean so worn out that we literally folded the mattress in half to put it in the truck. It sat on the floor with out even a bed frame because we couldn't afford one. It was topped with a lavender colored twin size velour blanket from my junior high years because we couldn't afford a comforter. Eventually we got a bed frame then a bed years down the road and finally real mattresses after Cam started getting back pain from the sink holes in the first one. It is exciting to finally get to do my own thing after 5 years of marriage. We've earned it!

The season to be...

2010-12-31T20:44:00.000-08:00

Christmas was awesome we had a great time with our kids and both sides of the family then the Influenza A fairy stopped by this week and whacked us hard with her wand.

Enough said!

The brain

2010-12-23T09:56:00.000-08:00

After my last post I have been thinking about the whole left brain right brain thing. A lot of people are surprised that I am so bad with music when they consider me "artistic" I have always enjoyed both halves of my brain. In eighth grade we took this test in science that told you about the kind of brain you had. There are actually 4 hemispheres. I scored the same in all 4. The teacher said that had never happened before in all of here years of teaching. Unfortunately that does not mean that you're good at everything. I love math and art but somehow I totally got skipped on the whole English / writing / music / sports thing. And I would love to have some of those talents.

This led me to thinking about choosing a major. Some people can't decide because they don't know what they want to do and I had the problem of wanting to do too much. When I was a child I wanted to be an elementary school teacher. Mostly because I wanted to make my own rules. Then in junior high I wanted to be an aerobics instructor, a cosmetologist, or a mathematician. Then I realized that you didn't need to go to college to be an aerobics instructor, I hate doing hair more than doing the dishes, and straight math was kind of boring even if it was easy.

In high school I wanted to be a dancer, or an engineer. Then I realized that engineering was also boring and a dancer was unrealistic so I changed to a dance teacher. Then I subbed at a dance studio and made 2 little girls cry on my first day so I guess that was out. Then I applied for college and didn't get into a dance program. So I checked interior design in the 'Major:' box on the application only because I didn't want to write undecided.

Shockingly it has turned out to be my passion in life and I finally found something that I'm good at. I mostly have done commercial architecture and I love it. One day I took Cam to my office and showed him my notebooks filled with math equations. Which fill me with a secret joy! Who knew that art and math could be combined into pure goodness? I know many of you hate math and art but it's a good time if you're me. Now I get to teach it which is even more fun.

So after that long ramble about nothing (I was up until 2:00 am thinking about this) I am curious what did you want to be when you grew up and now what are you?

Newsflash:

2010-12-22T08:30:00.000-08:00

I suck at the piano

I have learned that there are two kinds of piano players the ones who read music and the ones that "feel" music. The ones that feel are the ones that can figure out how to play a song without notes and just listen to the music. It seems like all the good ones are people that feel the music. I am a music reader. It is a very mathematical experience for me. Like a finger puzzle if you will. I can learn to play something at the beginner level but I never feel it. I don't know how people do that it amazes me. Music is not one of my talents. But I am appreciating the challenge and I love to play even though I can't play a thing without a piece of sheet music in front of me.

You got to be kidding me part: IV

2010-11-24T08:40:00.000-08:00

So a couple months ago Luca threw a ball at the window in the toy room and cracked it. It didn't break all the way it just had a line kind of like on a windshield that's started to crack. Well yesterday they were playing in there for less than five minutes when I went to get them so I could go to work. Luca's hand was covered in blood. I freaked out and rushed him to the sink. By time I got the blood off I could see that the cut was about a 1/2 centimeter long on his finger. Wow fingers can bleed. I thought he must have just got a little paper cut or something but when I looked in the toy room there was blood everywhere! Apparently he had climbed up on the sofa then onto the windowsill, broken the window all the way through and cut his finger on the glass. There was about a 6" puddle on the sill and then blood all over the window and the sofa. It looked like he had sacrificed a small animal.

*Yes, Amy the pic is what my ring looks like and it still hasn't shown up!

You got to be kidding me: Part III

2010-11-22T13:10:00.000-08:00

Last Monday I was doing laundry in the basement while Luca was playing cars on the floor. I happened to glance down at the dump truck he was driving and saw my wedding ring in the cargo space. I always wear my rings during the day and take them off at night. I have no idea where he got it but the wedding band wasn't with it. I have now been hoping it would turn up for a week but it is still lost. I love that ring. Cam surprised me with it on our five year anniversary which was only a couple months ago. Every time I saw it it made me smile and think of my sweet husband. I sure hope it come up. With Luca it could be anywhere!

yea!

2010-11-18T09:27:00.001-08:00

This little baby came for me yesterday. I have been having a blast. Do I play well? Um...no and that's a big no but I am enjoying relearning some of my old stuff and plan to keep going forward.

Potty Manipulator

2010-11-08T14:18:00.000-08:00

Stella is now pretty well potty trained. She rarely has an accident but she has learned that she can use the potty to her advantage. She will lie about needing to go potty. Like you put her down for bed and she starts yelling, "Potty, Potty!". One day I couldn't get her to sit on the potty right after she woke up and I knew she had to go so I put on a rendition of five little monkeys swinging in a tree to keep her on the toilet. Now she'll say she has to go potty then once she's on the toilet she points at me while yelling, "Wonkeys Wonkeys!" She doesn't go at all. So this morning when she was yelling potty ten minutes after her last trip I said no.

Two minutes later I was cleaning up poop.

you got to be kidding me!

2010-10-25T13:20:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been saying this exprssion often with how my kids have been acting (see previous post). Then this happened today:

I was getting all of us ready for work / babysitting. I got the babies dressed then went to do Stella's hair. I realized that her hair stuff was in the car so I ran out to the garage to get it. I didn't want to wrinkle or wreck my work shirt so I wasn't wearing it if you catch my drift. When I went to go back in I realized that Luca had locked me out. I tried to talk him into undoing the dead bolt but he just laughed. Luckily I had a coat in the garage so I through that on and ran to the front door. Also locked. So I had to go to the neighbor's house to call Cam. When I started walking back to our house I heard the babies screaming. It was too loud for it to be coming from the house. I found them bare foot running in the snow in the front yard. I guess they unlocked the door. So I took them back in and went to call Cam so he didn't come home but I couldn't find my phone. I'm pretty sure they put it somewhere. I caught Cam on email but it was a pretty crazy morning.

Chili, Garlic, Sugar Cookies

2010-10-24T20:39:00.000-07:00

Ingredients:

butter

sugar

eggs

vanilla

milk

half a bottle of garlic powder

a bottle of chili powder

flour

baking powder

salt

Steps:

Place Luca on the counter in between the spice rack and the mixer. Place first five ingredients in mixer. Turn your back to get the next three ingredients out. Roll out on cookie sheet bake at 350 for 15 min. Serve.

Not So Relaxing

2010-10-21T15:57:00.000-07:00

Today was a school day for the babies and I was excited because since they moved up a level in class they now go without me which means 1.5 hours of freedom. I decided to take them then I would take a long bath and see where it led me. After dropping off the babies I came home and drank hot chocolate. Less than 10 min. later the school called to say that Stella was throwing up everywhere. I raced back to the school to get her. They wanted me to leave Luca so he could still have the lesson. On the way home Stella threw up three times in the car. I put her to bed then cleaned out the car with just enough time left to be 15 min. late picking up Luca. Pretty crazy although she slept pretty much the whole day and it has been pretty calm here.

Should of been a Pharmacist

2010-10-20T00:22:00.001-07:00

Do you ever think it would have been really nice to have learned a certain skill? Like your computer breaks and you think, "I wish I knew more about computers?" or you're hosting a party and think, "I wish I knew how to make souffle?" Well sometimes I wish I was a pharmacist. I have not been on the exact same drug regimen for more than a month since my diagnosis. There are so many drugs out there and I'm still trying to find the perfect cocktail. It doesn't help that the disease keeps manifesting itself in bizarre and different ways. Which lead to this moment: it's 1:20 am and I'm blogging because I can't sleep. Probably because I took a drug for Narcolepsy this morning because I slept for more than 2/3 of the day yesterday.

Just Say No

2010-10-20T00:20:00.000-07:00

On Saturday Cam and I went to a birthday party and there was a hypnotist there. I really didn't want to participate but everyone was sitting in a circle and he was doing all these little exercises on everyone and I couldn't find a way out. I'll admit part of me was curious. Is this real? What does it feel like? Can it happen to me? Anyway let's just say I ended up in the front of the room telling jokes and calling myself Shanequah.

In your shoes

2010-10-13T19:54:00.000-07:00

People ask me all the time, "What's it like with twins?" I never know what to say because I've never had a singleton. In general we never separate the twins. Either we're all together or one of us has both of them to give the other person a break but tonight I felt for you. Cam took Stella to a party and I kept Luca home with me to work on my thesis. It was so weird!! Less fighting, less screaming, but more boredom. I felt so bad for the little guy. I am totally willing to play cars on the floor but my heart's not really in it and I don't get as excited about it as Stella does. I don't laugh like crazy at the weird joke that I don't get that has the two of them rolling with laughter. And I definitely didn't crawl into Stella's bed so Luca wouldn't be lonely when I put him to bed. I didn't offer him something out of my mouth that I partially chewed or bring him his favorite items while he was on time out. I didn't call, "GUUUUCA!" at the top of my lungs when I wanted him to join me in dumping something on the floor. I didn't trade dinner items off my highchair tray with him. Let's face it I'm not Stella. So I turn the question on you, "How do you do it with one? I can't even imagine."

New Rules Please

2010-10-11T14:51:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I think the universe needs some new rules. Just a few to keep the average person from killing themselves. In court you can't be tried for the same crime twice and I don't think anyone should have to go through the same trial twice. If you have a child die then you should go the rest of your life without having a family member die. If your house is burns down you should be safe from all natural disasters. And if you have a disease you shouldn't be allowed to get any other diseases or sicknesses. You can probably guess that I'm sick, really sick, and I'm not OK with it. I have put in more than my fair share of time at the hospital, taking drugs, and going to the doctors. Also this disease will never go away and yet doesn't have the courtesy to kill me either so a free pass is all I'm asking for.

My Purple People Eater

2010-09-28T21:28:00.000-07:00

Stella is obsessed with purple, like crazy obsessed. She has been cracking us up with her need. Last Sunday she made what Cam called a 'purple nest' she sorted through a clean basket of laundry and a bucket of toys and took all the purple items and made a big pile. Then she buried herself in it. One night she was moaning so I went to check on her and she was stuck under her bed because she'd dropped something purple behind it (it was 3:00 am!). I don't really like purple and we have almost none of it in the house so I know this is just totally her own thing, which I love. It's so fun to see their own style and personality come out.

Primary Story:

(I teach 11 year olds, the lesson is on prophets foretelling the birth of Jesus to Mary, a virgin)

Kid 1: What's a virgin?

Me: um.............(quick glance at the manual).........it says here it's an unmarried woman

Kid 1: huh that doesn't really make sense because....

Me: Why don't you ask your parents when you get home?

Kid 2: I think it's someone who's from Virginia.

So Freaked Out!!

2010-09-25T21:40:00.001-07:00

Yesterday Cam went outside to pull some weeds and he noticed a spider web on his yard gloves so he gave them a quick shake and a 2" wide black widow fell out onto our porch. He killed it and then came it to tell me. I wanted to see it so I went out side and when he pushed it's "dead" body with a stick it turned over and started running away. I hate spiders like seriously arachnaphobic and this thing was walked around where my kids play everyday. I immediately called the exterminator and they said that black widows are a huge problem this year. Because of the extremely hot summer they are running rampant and are the biggest they've ever seen them. I've got the chills just writing this!

Out of ideas

2010-09-16T10:06:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I just don't know what to do with my kids they need to be occupied at all times or they get into trouble, like this morning. I went to get them up and we had forgotten to lock their bathroom door. They had dumped their plant into the sink and then turned on the faucet and let it overflow onto the floor. Thrown everything every where and unrolled full roll of toilet paper. Currently they are reading the ads. I'm sick of their books and so I gave them the ads out of the mail and told them they were books. It's working for now. They keep yelling, "books!" and, "read". It's going to be a long winter.

Waiting for the slow

2010-09-15T09:20:00.001-07:00

Do you guys feel like you're always busy and always thinking, "If I could just get through this week?" I kept thinking that last week which is a common thought for me but life never slows down. This week Cam has been out of town on business and Luca has the stomach flu. My 'to do' list is a mile long and hard to complete while cleaning barf out of the carpet. Also you may have noticed (if you're in my ward) that I wore a mask on Sunday. That is because of a medicine I take that reacts very badly with sickness so much so that if I get sick I can't take the medicine and then my MS is out of control. So my doctor said I had to skip church for 6 months or wear a mask, thus the mask. Anyway I'm super nervous about catching the stomach flu, Cam said he has it too even though he's not even here. My infusion is on Friday, I hope I can make it.

Dying over here

2010-09-09T10:27:00.000-07:00

So this week has been less than awesome. In addition to all the crazy kid stuff I have been trying to get ready for a craft show at UVU. I'll take pics to show you next week. The potty training has been a pain but Stella has now gone potty in the toilet 7 times. She only goes like 3 times a day so it's hard to catch her at the right moment. The kids now are more used to their beds and yesterday I found them sleeping in the same bed. It melted my heart. They love each other so much. The other night we put Luca down for a bed while Stella was trying to go potty. She did it and we gave her some candies then took her up to bed. The first thing she did was go to Luca's bed and give him some of her candy. I wasn't thinking though, who puts their kids to bed with candy? I had to cut it out of Stella's hair in the morning.

I'm a Big Kid Now!

2010-09-06T16:45:00.000-07:00

Too many milestones have been reached in one week. Stella is potty training, Luca figured out how to open door knobs, and Stella can climb out of her crib. Things are like a freakin circus here. Stella has successfully used the potty 4 times and we are proud of her but you don't want to know how many accidents. I would just keep her in diapers if it were my way but she will not wear one! She just strips it off and pees anywhere so I have to get her potty trained. Cam converted the cribs to toddler beds today and to say they liked it was an understatement. During nap time they ran back and forth between the beds for an hour then passed out on the floor. Holy Cow I hope I make it to the end of the week.

Can't Decide!

2010-09-02T12:28:00.000-07:00

Today I worked on my thesis. I counted up how many pages I've written: 51. I can't decide if I'm extremely proud or extremely disappointed. Proud because I've done a ton of work and it's the most pages I've ever written. Disappointed because I'm not even half way through my content and that means I'm writing way more than I need to.

Cleaning Day

2010-09-01T12:58:00.000-07:00

Today I am trying to give my house a good clean. Does anyone else feel like they are always cleaning and yet the house is never clean? I don't know how some of you super mommies do it. The mess is endless and my energy isn't.

You should apply for MS

2010-08-26T11:32:00.000-07:00

So we all know that I have ranted about the crappy parts of MS but there are plenty of awesome things I get that you don't:

1- I get a handicapped parking pass for free.

2- The MS society pays for any fitness classes that I want.

3- Once a month there's a dinner at a restaurant free of charge.

4- My trial isn't embarrassing like adultery or child molesting and lots of people pray for me.

5- At the hospital I get unlimited snacks and soda.

6- My odds of getting a free Jazzy are look pretty good.

At the hospital last week I passed the vaginal oncology center (who knew there was one?) and thought, "It could be worse start counting your blessings and stop counting your trials."

Cam tidbits

2010-08-24T14:03:00.000-07:00

A lot of you blog funny things your kids say or do but here are some about my biggest kid: Cam

Cam: I think Stella wiped maple syrup in her hair I can't get the comb through it.

Kristina: It's called a tangle she hasn't had maple syrup in days.

---

Kristina: Crap I just dropped one of the kabobs on the ground.

Cam: Just feed that one to the babies.

Kristina: They're humans not dogs.

---

Cam: Luca you're a sack of bones and Stella you're a sack of crazy.

Vacation

2010-08-22T18:29:00.000-07:00

Cam and I went to Porland for five days last week. It was blissfull. We slept a lot, ate a lot, and walked a lot. We left the babies with Cam's parents and stayed right down town. I thought we'd be in a Best Western but Cam scored us a 4 star hotel on some crazy internet deal. It was all 20's vintage and totally beautiful. The sheets were luxurious and I'm guessing that we're not the only ones because there was a paper in the room that said you could take / steal them for $150. Portland was small, and bustling and filled with interesting people.

You might be from Portland if:

you have at least 7 tattoos

a stroller with a dog in it

a nose piercing like a bull, coming out of both nostrils

are vegan

recycle everything!

are 20 and homeless

have a drug problem

play a random instrument poorly

and only eat organic food

I still feel somewhat relaxed from the trip. Love the babies but loved them more after a break!

Making Peace

2010-08-06T19:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to see my neurologist for a routine visit. Can you believe it's been almost a year this month that I was diagnosed? The time has gone quickly. I had a real realization while I was talking with her. I was telling her some problems I was having and she was giving me suggestions and I realized that nothing could be done. There was no fix. She scrunched up her face and said, "It just sucks, you're never going to be who you used to be and you need to give yourself permission to have MS." You may think I already knew this but it wasn't until this moment that I realized that I've been waiting to get better. I mean, I knew that the MS wasn't going to go away but I just thought I'd get to a stable place, find the perfect drug, and the roller coaster would be over. I'd be almost "normal". This isn't going to happen and I'm learning to accept that. I have an incurable disease and I'm going to suffer from it every day until I take my last breath. This may sound depressing but it's actually kind of a relief. It's hard to fight and hope everyday and be disappointed over and over again. I'm not saying I've lost hope or "I'm throwing in the towel" I'm just accepting it and moving on.

My New Motto:

2010-08-02T23:01:00.001-07:00

Inch by Inch Life's a cinch

Yard by yard and life gets hard

Long Time No Post

2010-07-31T20:43:00.000-07:00

I have been avoiding you guys and I'm sorry. I feel like life has been really crazy for me and my body is out of whack (what's new right?). Anyway here is some random catch up for our family.

Cam and I are going to Portland in two weeks for vacation with out the babies. Yeah!!!

My mom bought Stella and Luca underwear for potty training. It's going well. If wearing underwear on your head while playing with a toy toilet that sings the itsy bitsy spider when flushed is considered potty training. Stella like's Luca's underwear better so she'll only wear his.

We finally figured out that the word "mmmm Doh Doh" means an airplane and "dee dee" means cookie.

I finished my quilt that I started in January. Well I still have to bind it but all the hand sewing is done.

I started another new drug for MS this one is for fatigue. I read ratings about and it got mixed reviews but it costs $5 a month as opposed to the other brand that costs $305 a month. We'll see how it goes.

I started teaching advanced Cad and have loved that.

I have written 22 pages of my thesis which means I'm about a sixth of the way through.

It's HOT!!!!

The wonders of the Internet

2010-07-16T10:26:00.000-07:00

The internet is really amazing. Sometimes I think I take it for granted. But right now I am sitting at the MS clinic with a little port in my arm getting my monthly infusion while I write this. The other night I missed the America's Got Talent results show so I just looked it up online. I can register for school, put a hold on a book at the library, or buy a pair of wholesale shoes from China. Pretty much anything can be done with the internet. On a diet? going out to dinner you can check the calories of the menu before you go in. It's pretty much awesoome

Asian Pilaf and other forms of torture

2010-07-02T08:08:00.000-07:00

Lately the babies have been extra terrible at not wanting to eat their food. Every night I have the audacity to put dinner on their trays which they quickly throw on the floor screaming. Last night I made an Asian Pilaf that actually turned out pretty good but the babies went crazy. I mean tears streaming and wails echoing off the ceiling. We're trying to follow the therapists suggestions to make them eat. So we put them in their beds until they could stop screaming, 45 min! Then Cam brought them back down and they literally stuffed their faces with the pilaf. I guess the suggestions work. I have hope!!

My 2 minute return to running

2010-06-29T20:47:00.000-07:00

When Cam and I were engaged he went to paint in Germany for a few months. I missed him so much I swear it physically hurt. I was living at home while interning for the summer and needed something to occupy my mind. I started running at night and really enjoyed it. The morning after he came home I ran my first 5K. I really got into it but dropped it like it was hot once life returned to normal. Some ladies in the neighborhood have started a running club and I decided to join in. So yesterday I woke up early donned some work out clothes and met at the head of the trail. I started running with them and immediately remembered that I hate running. I thought of my beautiful bike sitting in the garage and wondered what the heck I was doing. I literally ran 2 min. then turned around headed for home. My bike and I are friends and will remain so. I rode today as well and enjoyed it. A lot more then running, plus it's better for your joints. So keep on running suckers, but I'm not joining you!

Wade Robson

2010-06-10T21:08:00.000-07:00

The official start of So You Think You Can Dance was tonight and once again Wade Robson rocked my world. He is a choreographer if you don't know! It now officially feels like summer.

Not for the faint of heart:

2010-06-08T16:11:00.000-07:00

Push Mower

What a weekend!

2010-06-07T10:26:00.000-07:00

My little brother made it home from his Tulsa OK mission. He looks great and it feels wonderful to have him home. He seems exactly the same with just some new experience under his belt. I sure love him so much. Luca who is so afraid of strangers latched right onto him. I was surprised but glad.

Unfortunately my MS was out of control Sat and most of Sun. but I am feeling much better today.

Cam went to Vegas for a car show but never made it there. He broke down in Mesquite but they didn't have the part he needed to fix it. So he called AAA and they towed him to St. George. He bought the part and fixed it in the parking lot then headed out again. Unfortunately they broke down in Mesquite again. They spent hours in the 108 degree weather trying to fix it but finally gave in and called Cam's dad to come get them.

It's About Time!

2010-06-02T21:08:00.001-07:00

So I am finally buckling down and finishing that thesis. I originally started when Cam and I were still in Logan. It kind of fell flat when we moved after Cam graduated and I had a lot on my plate. Then I got pregnant with the twins and was sick as a dog. During my second trimester I signed up again but due to the premature birth I had to drop out that semester as well. So I have set a goal for August and I am actually working on it. I switched my topic to something I would enjoy more so that definitely helps and I have a plan so things are heading in the right direction. I just have to get this done or I'll regret it for the rest of my life.

Too Good to be True

2010-05-27T21:13:00.000-07:00

Well along with this new medication has come some crazy headaches!! Sometimes it's just a flash of pain and other times it's for hours. I am taking too much medication (way over my limit) so I need to find out what else can be done.

still good

2010-05-25T15:56:00.000-07:00

I only slept 4 hours last night and am filled with energy today. I feel amazing!

Feeling Good

2010-05-24T09:35:00.000-07:00

On Friday I got the new drug. I was so nervous I was literally shaking in the morning and wondering if I was going to come back home. I know the chances of having a bad experience are rare but it seems like the worst case scenario often happens to me. The nurse got the arm catheter in on the first try which was a relief but it really burned. I opted to keep it in anyway because it feels really gross when they stick it in your arm plus it hurts and isn't very fast. It takes one hour and five minutes to drip in. I watch gossip girl on a portable dvd player while I waited. I got a headache during the drip but they said it was most likely due to stress. I took maxalt while I was there for that. The next hour is an observation period where you have to just stay in case something happens. It went fine so I got to go home. My friend Melinda was getting her drip done at the same time so that was nice to have someone to chat with a bit. The rest of the day went pretty smoothly but the headache continued on. The next day I woke up on my own early and felt really energetic. It was really great. Cam gave me the day off and took the babies to his mom's house. I did some shopping and got a haircut. The freedom was amazing. Unfortunately the headache came back with crazy pain during the afternoon so I had to sleep it off. That night we were hosting for babysitters club but no one showed up so we had it pretty easy. I ended up taking like 6 Maxalt's this week and you're not suppose to take more than 2 per month so hopefully I'm not frying my brain.

*We are putting the previous question to rest because there is no great way to replicate the situation so we will remain curious.

Another weird question

2010-05-13T22:04:00.000-07:00

Cam and I have once again butted heads on a stupid topic. Last night Cam was choking so he wanted to suck on a piece of candy. He mentioned something about going to sleep with it and I told him that that was bad for your teeth and a choking hazard. He said it's not because it just melts in your mouth and is gone in the morning. I said, "So your telling me if I put a lifesaver in a glass of water over night it will be gone in the morning?" He said, "Yes." So I will be conducting the experiment tonight and I'll let you know in the morning.

Turtle Ticker

2010-05-12T09:43:00.000-07:00

I chose the turtle on my weight loss ticker because I thought it was cute. Who could have guessed that it would be a perfect symbol for slow weight loss. Last week I stayed the same the whole week. I was frustrated and felt like it wasn't working but I stuck it out. Today I got on the scale and I was down 1.5 lbs. What a relief! Good numbers make me want to stick to my plan.

Prom on a dime

2010-05-09T20:56:00.001-07:00

My little brother hosted a formal prom dinner last week at my parents house. They had a tight budget ($0) so I decorated the table with things I found around my house, and my mom's house. I spent $2.50. I thought it turned out pretty good for what we had.

The hanging glass balls are ornaments. The puffs are made of tissue paper (that's what I spent the $2.50 on).

The vases are leftover from my little sister's wedding last year and filled with blossoms off the trees in the yard. The candle holders are my sisters goblets turned over with a few blossoms under the glass.

Cam's boss sent me this cool green vase when the twins were born.

The feather boa is from my Christmas decor as are the cloth napkins. The marbles are out of a vase from my moms foyer with the dark green ones pulled out.

I made these name card purses with free paper and ribbon from Cam's work. They are also the party favor. I made a pair of sterling silver earrings for each purse. My sister Kate made the heart shaped mints from molds out of her pantry and free mint chips from a sale.

*note: the next two posts are new as well if you're bored or interested.

Dog Show

2010-05-09T20:46:00.000-07:00

St. Bernard Finals

We thought the leashes would be a good idea but Luca literally walked himself (he insisted on holding the handle to his leash and leading himself around).

You can't tell how large this dog is in the photo but it puts a great dame to shame. His owner is also huge so it's hard to get the scale.

This was the weirdest dog we saw. It is really tall with a long snout but when you look straight down at it, it is maybe 6" wide. Crazy!!

Cam gets every other Friday off so we normally do something as a family on those days. This last Friday we went to a dog show. The babies love dogs so we thought this would be really fun. If you think this is a good place to pet a dog you're wrong. These people are serious about their pooches and eye your children wearily. Unfortunately Luca picked out this black bull dog lookin thing and decided he absolutely needed to touch it. Every time we set him down he'd make a run for it much to the owner's dismay. We ended up carrying the kids for most of the day.

Mother's Day

2010-05-09T20:40:00.000-07:00

I had a great Mother's Day. Cam made breakfast in bed and the babies came and hung out with me for an hour this morning. Luca kept saying, "Luv, ooo" which is his newest word. So cute. It melted my heart. I got to teach my wonderful primary class that I love to death and then Cam made an awesome dinner. Roast beef, homemade focaccia, mashed potatoes, fresh snow peas, and a homemade cheesecake. He likes to pretend he can't cook but if he has a recipe he's golden. Thanks babe!

Test Results

2010-05-07T19:48:00.000-07:00

This is not my brain but it's a good example of what an MS patient's brain looks like. The white spots are holes.

Today I went to the MS specialist to have my test results reviewed. I have grown a new lesion on my brain (a hole where the disease has eaten my brain). I now have 8. My blood work also shows that I have some kind of infection but I don't have any symptoms and they don't know what's causing it. So I went back to the hospital for my blood testing. As soon as that's taken care of and my insurance improves I'll start the infusions. I also had to sign a million papers saying I understand that this drug can kill me. I asked myself, "am I OK with knowing this drug can kill me?" then I thought, "Do I have a choice?". This disease sucks to say the least.

Good News Bad News

2010-05-03T21:20:00.000-07:00

Bad: My MS has been terrible lately

Good: I had a good specialist to visit about it

Bad: My specialist confirmed that my MS is progressing rapidly, like 'this is serious' rapid.

Good: There is a new drug that's been out for 2 years that he thinks will really make a huge difference.

Bad: One side effect of this drug is death.

Good: If it works OK with my body chances are I will walk until the day I die.

Bad: I now have to go to the hospital once a month for an infusion, possible flu symptoms and may need to get a permanent port.

Good: I no longer have to give myself shots (OK let's be honest this is really better than good, I'd say great).

Bad: If this doesn't work. Would you still like me in a wheelchair or bedridden?

Calling all Crafters!

2010-05-01T12:51:00.000-07:00

Hi friends - Cam's employer, Stampin' Up! has been so genrous to donate this HUGE gift basket to the National MS Society. 100% of all the proceeds will go to support the National MS Society, furthering MS reasearch and providing relief for those with MS.

To keep it simple, we've put it up on Ebay for auction, but if you don't like Ebay or don't know how to use it, you can send a bit directly to me.

Bid Here

Tons of Photos Here

This basket is huge and weighs like 35lbs. Local pickup only. Item is located in South Jordan, Utah.

This would make a perfect mother's day present! Basket is valued at over $200, and includes:

• 3 Stampin' Pad ink pads

• 12 stamp sets

• 9 Stamp N' Write markers

• 2 15 yard rolls of grosgrain ribbon

• 1 On Board ATC Trio Album

• 1 ream colored card stock

• 1 ream cream/yellow card stock

• 2 packages of 12x12 Designer Series Paper

• 1 8.5x11" album (navy blue color)

• 2 packages of 12x12 colored card stock

• 1 On Board Something Seasonal

• 1 Simply Scrappin' "Tie the knot" kit

• 2 Fancy Fibers kits Scarlet and Tiffany

• 1 Stampin' Up! keychain

• 1 large pack of sticky paper die cuts

• 1 Snow Blossom punch

• 1 "three for you" punch kit (stamp set, large punch, stampin' spots, and more)

• 1 Simply Sent card making kit

• 1 Make and Take kit - Peaceful Wishes

• 1 Set of Stampin' Kids markers

Thanks for your support!

Those babies make me laugh

2010-04-30T11:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went down to check on the babies in the toy room and they had put themselves down for a nap! They are the kind that won't go to sleep unless they're safely in their cribs so this was shocking. They had spread out Luca's favorite blanket and they were spooning on it together. It was so cute. They slept like that for 1.5 hours.

You may have noted that I gained a half pound today even though I did not cheat! That's Ok though because I'm in it for the long haul and I know you can't keep the weight on if you're doing everything right.

hooray!

2010-04-29T07:08:00.001-07:00

Well yesterday went great! I feel so much better. Not just generally better but my MS symptoms were less and I slept soundly and I woke up by myself without the 'baby alarm clock'. I also lost two pounds which makes me very happy.

Doing Something

2010-04-28T10:56:00.000-07:00

Lately I have really not taken care of myself. I eat whatever I want and exercise when I feel like it. I want to start taking better care of myself. Not just for looks but for general health. I know it will help me with my MS and make me feel better too. I keep thinking it will just happen with some easy changes but I'm realizing it will be hard and that's OK. I'm going to choose to do the work. So I started an eating plan this morning. Nothing crazy just eating right and if you look at my right side you'll see a ticker to count down my pounds. I'd like to lose ten pounds. Wish me luck!!

Check it out!

2010-04-25T11:00:00.000-07:00

I'm in the newspaper! Yesterday was the walk MS at the Gateway. It was super cool. I was so touched by the thousands of people walking together for one united cause. It was a very spiritual experience. I wanted to cry when I saw a 17 year old boy with an afro and MS and his rally of high school guy friends wearing shirts that said, "Curly's Soldiers" it was so touching. Two miles in I lost the feeling in my whole left leg and right foot which left me limping along with help from Michelle and Toni. People who saw me were crying and I felt like an idiot. I don't feel like a "diseased" person. I feel like a healthy 26 year old that has random things happen to her. It feels weird to have people feel bad for you. Nonetheless it was an awesome day. Thanks to all who came and supported me. More pics to come.

The weather matches my mood

2010-04-21T11:47:00.000-07:00

If you live in Daybreak you know that means rainy and overcast. I am frustrated with my body it has been so slow and tired lately. My balance is really off too. I fell off my bike last night not because I was doing anything I just couldn't balance on it. I have been blacking out like 5 times a day as well.

I am sure things will get better I just want to be ornery for a minute.

The babies turn two!

2010-04-18T18:47:00.001-07:00

Cousins: Ty and Tessa at the zoo

Coloring with Grandpa Ron

Ty and Tessa helping open presents

Stella and her new glasses

Luca and his new glasses (he has been wearing these constantly!)

Stella and her new puzzle (she loves puzzles!)

Luca eating candy off his race car cake

Stella had a purple dinosaur cake and the green dino in her hand she stole off a present before it was opened.

I love good paint

2010-04-16T21:02:00.001-07:00

(this is the color)

I am sitting here staring at my new gray wall (no not an accent wall we just haven't painted the other three yet) and loving it. I have a little bit of advice for you. Good paint saves time, money, and effort. Good paint only requires one coat and a little touch up as opposed to the Behr Home Depot crap. It may cost a lot less but it's not half the price and you will use twice the paint. Plus you have to do he work of two coats. Don't go there my friends you are being sucked in. Lowe's now offers a Valspar premium paint which we used tonight. It worked great very similar to the high end stuff that I'm addicted to. Plus they have a $5 rebate right now so it's only $3 more a gallon than the regular stuff. If you're thinking about painting give it a try.

You guys are so nice!

2010-04-14T22:02:00.000-07:00

Thanks for all the nice comments guys. We are doing much better. Last night Luca screamed in pain for like an hour even though he had pain medication going so Cam gave him a blessing and he eventually went back to bed. This morning when I went to get him he was standing in his crib. I could not believe it. It was like he was instantly better. He walked and ran all day today. Stella was also doing much better and I'm wondering if she even had the stomach flu or is just lactose intolerant. She only throws up milk. I'll ask the Dr. this week at their 2 year check up. they had therapy today also. Luca had a super star day which normally goes to Stella. I was so happy for all the progress he's made. They are going to start a preschool-esque class here soon which will be really good for them. Today was much better.

what a day...or three

2010-04-13T21:51:00.000-07:00

Saturday we celebrated the twins birthday then Sunday Stella woke up with the stomach flu. The next day she seemed to be doing better but Luca had a little accident and we ended up in the hospital to see if he had a broken leg. He did not but they're not sure why he can't walk at this point. So today I had to carry around my crippled little boy and Stella started off the day with 6 vomits all at different locations. Wow! what a clean up job. Both were incredibly ornery and it was one of the few days where I just felt like twins were too much. I literally couldn't take care of both of their needs. They cried pretty much the whole day and nothing I could do would appease them.

Still going.

2010-04-04T19:21:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend I worked on my wing back chairs and we installed 3 pendant lights over the bar. Hopefully I will get you a pic soon. I had to hunt for a long time to find fabric I liked, not to mention didn't cost an arm and a leg. There are tons of beautiful things out there but it was hard to find something that would match with my stuff. They didn't have enough of the stuff I found so I had to special order more yardage. I have about 3/4 done on the first chair and now I just have to wait for the rest of the fabric to come in. My little sis Rachel got excited about it so we jumped on KSL and found a pair of wing back chairs for $50 which she got for $40 so we're in the same boat.

We also installed pendant lights over the bar and by we I mean Cam. They look really good and it's nice to have it so bright and cheery in the kitchen. I like a lot of light.

Finally we bought paintable wallpaper. Which is like a styrofoam roll with a stamped texture. It's our poor man's version of wall paper. You can make it look like leather or metal. Super beautiful. Hopefully it won't be too hard to install and paint.

2010-03-31T22:03:00.000-07:00

I have just posted like 5 new posts so read on my friends read on.

Project #3: wing back chairs

2010-03-31T21:58:00.001-07:00

Since the ottomans were so easy I am now taking on a harder project. Reupholstering wingback chairs. I paid $40 for a pair of these, $39.75 if you count the quarter I found in the cushion. It may be a disaster but I am willing to take it on and how can you got wrong with a $20.00 chair.

note: if you look in the background you can see my new backsplash.

Here are a few of the scenes the chairs now display:

Fishing

Pheasants

Hunting with spaniels

Project #2 back splash

2010-03-31T21:54:00.001-07:00

So Sunday I had a major migraine then Monday I was back on to projects. I decided to put a backsplash in my kitchen. Who knew it could be so easy! Here are a few did you knows:

Did you know...

There is a glue made for tile that stick directly to drywall. You don't have to do the mud and trowel thing anymore.

You don't have to use spacers anymore you can just put them side by side?

You can buy grout in a gun and just squirt it into the cracks?

I paid $61.97 for all the supplies and tile including buying a tile saw?

You can pick out tile, learn how to tile a backsplash, and install the whole thing by yourself while watching twins?

I'll show you some pics later.

Project: Ottoman

2010-03-31T21:47:00.000-07:00

I have been working on doing / finishing my main level. I got these awesome (indian?) ottomans for free from Melinda Poulson who was storing them in her garage. This weekend I finally picked colors: black, white, gray and yellow. This is the fabric I chose to recover them with:
Could it be any hotter?
Here they are finished. They were so easy! I did them in one night. I just stitch picked the old ones and used them as patterns. Then after I sewed them together Cam stapled the bottoms to the underneath.